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Archive for the ‘I’m no expert’ Category

*MY* bailout plan

According to this wiki, which we all know to be 100% accurate at least a handful of the time, there are about 305 million people in the US. As my stunned brain understands the broad overview of Wall Street greed run amok, the bailout is necessary because Bushs et al set up the perfect storm for old white guys to literally make money in as many stupid and irresponsible ways that they could think up. Derivatives? Basically the same thing as cockroach races as near as I can tell. Give money to people who most likely cannot pay it back, and then bet on the payback? Wow. Speechless I am.

So, how about instead of giving Wall Street 700 billion dollars that runs the overwhelming risk of being mismanaged (I’d take derivative action on that piece), I have a different idea. How about if ever person in this country, the actual financiers of this lunacy, how about if each of the 305 million people get a tax free million dollars? Or even half million?

Basic math: a million times a million = a trillion. But that’s more than 700 billion, right? Right, but it’s a suckers bet to think that this disaster is going to be 700 billion on the nose. And that 700 billion doesn’t take into account interest. And, once the public has swallowed that ridiculous sum, what’s another 300 billion? And then we’re right smack at a trillion. See?

So, 305 million US citizens with a cool million in the bank. The vast majority of mortgages could be paid off. Credit card debt would all but disappear. Voila, banking crisis solved.

What about Wall Street dudes? The newly broke-ass hedge fund losers? The derivative dive bombs? I say fuck ’em. Let them figure it out. Sell some art. Don’t go to Crete for the month of August. Sell a couple houses. I know a bunch of new millionaires.

But Wall Street has the 401Ks tanked, right? Well, now Mr and Mrs Smith have a million bucks! See? It’s brilliant!

I know it’s early, and I know I haven’t had enough coffee, but I say fuck Wall Street, let’s give the money to ourselves. The best economic package evaaaaaa.

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10 toes

Seriously though? These bad boys are over 4 thousand dollars? They’re not even real crocodile. They’re pumps. I just don’t get it but clearly I should have gone to shoe design school. Oh, and I want them. A lot. Sometimes, I dream about shoes. It’s a sickness.

Great news? These are back. When I saw them, and subsequently snapped up a pair for myself, I was overcome with the desire to buy black leggings, a long t-shirt, and put long lacy ties into my giant hair. While I miss the 80s something fierce, I’m eternally grateful that YouTube and Google were not around. I’d never be able to leave my house again.

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