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Do you ever have one of those moments where your insanity presents itself so clearly? In a package? With a pretty little bow? I had a friend respond to an email I sent her two weeks ago. When I reread my words it occurred to me that I’ve lost my fucking mind. Y’think?

Hello darling darlingest woman

My grandmother is here visiting and I’m trying to talk her into plastic surgery cuz she’s always wanted it. Wanna bet my aunt won’t let her visit again any time soon?

My 16 year old giant nephew was here for 2 days. I got a look in his dopp kit and they have him on 40 mg of amphetamines + celexa + something very 1984 sounding called Abilify … and I think his major problem is no one holds him to any standards. I yelled at him for 45 minutes straight. Neither of us felt any better, but now he knows I think he’s too smart to labor under the labels other put on him. And I expect him to be respectful in my house. So, we can probably take him off the guest list, too 😉

Things are okay here. I’m peri-menopausal which is cause for single malt with breakfast. I can only remember who I’m calling 50% of the time. That should concern me but every day I get pleasant surprise when people answer their phones and I think, “Wow, I didn’t even know I had his/her number!” so, yeah, that’s what I’m doing for excitement.

I’m working. For 2 places even though my brain is still kind of hot-cereal-like. I’m doing recruiting and sourcing which all falls under the auspices of ‘headhunting’ which would be more exciting with spears and giant pots but really I just use my computer and a telephone.

The other day I asked Sugardad if he’d ever heard my grandfather sing and directly upon finishing that question I burst into tears with such force and so out of the blue that I think I’ve finally managed to straddle two of my infinite possible timelines and it turns out in another lifetime I am/was/will be a terrific crybaby.

I miss you so much I have a hot spot in my heart when I think of you. I have a picture of you on my fridge. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to adequately TELL you how much you mean in my life so I should CALL EVERY DAY but I get on these loops of inaction and really, all I want to do is load up two sippy cups with some Johnny Black and roll down to the zoo and set some animals free. Wanna come?

I love you like crazy. Please give me your new phone number and mailing address and I’ll send you pictures of Snarkarella aka Sunshine aka the best thing I’ve ever done with this silly life. If I tell you I adore you with the heat and dense permanence of new lava will you believe me?

xoxoxox
Stupormom

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